~IndieSoul

megan

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About Me Member Pencil Artist megan15/Female/United States

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Too much to deal withOh, I feel sick. So run down and tired. I don't want to be here anymore, afraid, alone in this dark, windowless hell. This classroom. Right now, I am slowest. Like a drug, crashing down on my system. It's the part of my life, each and every single day, when I walk to class. Shaking, sweating, running. Running so I don't collapse under the pressure. I wish I could get my body out of this place. But only my mind is able to flee. Away from a world of stress and despair.
No, I really can't stand it any longer. I have to leave t Too much to deal with
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=DeceptiveFeelings

Wish

Tue Jul 21, 2009, 4:23 PM

My blog is closed - if it weren't, I'd be writing this there. Oh well.

I just came off it, and I'm confused. God knows how much I desire her approval. I want it, and I need it so much. I want her to know this, to understand. I want her to care.

Maybe I'm wrong, and she won't give a damn. Maybe I need to explain this? What led me to this point, this desire for affection? Am I so lonely??

I hope you're reading this. I hope you see my expression through these words, as if I'm sitting there talking to you. I really need this now, I need it so much

Please know this. I've never wanted anything more. I guess I want you to care about me.

I wish for a lot of things, most of which I can't explain. Please God, just let me be able to tell her this. Let me be the strong person I wish I were. For once, can't I let out the feelings?

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Mood: Sadness
Listening to: Nirvana (in my head)
Reading: nothing
Watching: see above
Playing: see above
Eating: nothing

deviantID

I am a teenager.
I love music.
I hate fake emotion.
I am a girl.
It is hard for me to meet new people.
I like who I am,
or at least who I think I might be.
Snobs and preps annoy me.
I am an individual.
I have my own mind.
Do they?

Isn't it terrible...
I write, and yet I feel nothing. I try to be honest, but I know I'm a hypocrite. I want to help them, and yet I turn away from their cries. I know I want to be something, but I don't know what.

Hi everyone out there, I'm Megan. I'm 14 years old. I've got 18 days (as of today) left of middle school. I've got short hair. I'm dying my bangs blue. I've got a nose piercing, and 6 in my ears. Compared to everyone else at the high school I will be going to, I'm the freak. I stand out, and they hate me for it. They tease. I feel their harsh glare against my back. But I can handle it this time. I know I can.